Opportunities

I am a damn lucky person.

Sometimes i will ask, am i taking the luck from other people, those who always have bad luck? the world is being so so so good to me. oh i am lucky. thank you.

And i started to have conversations with you. though short, they made my smile for the whole day. my heart was going to bloom everytime i talked to you. i lose my mind when i talked to you. i think i was too concentrated looking at you eyes. i was like a little fan of you, though i do not like to name you as idol. the term 'idol' seems too materialistic, you are not, you do not belong to material, you belong to a faction that deep deep deep into a zone, a unknown, mysterious zone. i love to see you smile. what would be the inner side of you? you have never shown it to us, and to me of course. i want to know you more. but you said you are leaving. why leave? why now? but deep in heart i am glad that you can take a rest and publish a book soon. you are the kind of scholar that i pay my wholehearted respect to.

'you should meet a person.' you said to me. i was surprsed. and extremely happy, as i knew that you have thought about me in another time outside the class. hahaa. i am a lucky person. i have occupied a little little bit of your thoughts in a day. i am a lucky person.

i am planing to write you a letter. yes a letter with letters. i do want to do it. I am questioning myself whether i shall still have a chance to let you know my feeling if i am not writing to you in a short while. you will leave and you will set yourself free from here for a long while. you are going to forget me, i understand. but is it possible to occupy a little bit more of your memories, if you received a letter from me and therefore knew what i felt about you for long?

i am going to write a letter. i know.
there are many words that i cannot let you know face to face. i am too nervous in front of you.
you know what? you are and are going to be very important in my life, though you may not know it at the moment.