Cooler Than Expected

i mean, you are damn cool.

You always help people in secret? or just me? i do not know that it is you helping me secretly. i am so touched when i noticed that yesterday. how much have you done for me? you do not really let me know that and expect a thank. ho you are that cool. this is how i love you. not only your gestures and presentations but also you personality. oh if only i can be a bit like you.

Thank you. if you i can give you a big hug and say thank you in a closest distance!

I Gave a Hand

i felt so good, as i was your third hand at that particular time yestersday.

"Wow that's so many books." i turned to your back while piping things into my locker. "haha ye." you answered. oh you were returning the books to the library but you definitely had no other hands to open the door, yes. i then followed and saw if you were lucky enough to have someone passed by and gave you a help.

You stood in front of the glass door. looked so lovely trying to pull the door with you rarely surviving fingers. i then rushed to you and gave you a third hand. That's how the magic happened!

oh if only you know how happy i am, just because of this tiny experience shared with you.

Opportunities

I am a damn lucky person.

Sometimes i will ask, am i taking the luck from other people, those who always have bad luck? the world is being so so so good to me. oh i am lucky. thank you.

And i started to have conversations with you. though short, they made my smile for the whole day. my heart was going to bloom everytime i talked to you. i lose my mind when i talked to you. i think i was too concentrated looking at you eyes. i was like a little fan of you, though i do not like to name you as idol. the term 'idol' seems too materialistic, you are not, you do not belong to material, you belong to a faction that deep deep deep into a zone, a unknown, mysterious zone. i love to see you smile. what would be the inner side of you? you have never shown it to us, and to me of course. i want to know you more. but you said you are leaving. why leave? why now? but deep in heart i am glad that you can take a rest and publish a book soon. you are the kind of scholar that i pay my wholehearted respect to.

'you should meet a person.' you said to me. i was surprsed. and extremely happy, as i knew that you have thought about me in another time outside the class. hahaa. i am a lucky person. i have occupied a little little bit of your thoughts in a day. i am a lucky person.

i am planing to write you a letter. yes a letter with letters. i do want to do it. I am questioning myself whether i shall still have a chance to let you know my feeling if i am not writing to you in a short while. you will leave and you will set yourself free from here for a long while. you are going to forget me, i understand. but is it possible to occupy a little bit more of your memories, if you received a letter from me and therefore knew what i felt about you for long?

i am going to write a letter. i know.
there are many words that i cannot let you know face to face. i am too nervous in front of you.
you know what? you are and are going to be very important in my life, though you may not know it at the moment.

Delay

Self-delay is never a fun thing to do.

responsibility. time management. your expectation.

that day i talked to you that i could not meet the deadline. and you, you answered very calmly, "It's fine." why? you have never expected something from me? Now i could not meet your expectation, but you were just as cool as usual. i was sad. but i should be, indeed, happy, for this could erase my guilty. But i wish you could feel a tad unfine. At least this meant that you are caring about me.

Non-stop Train

Works are still going. I got on an non-stop train.

i seemed to know why i made the move and what my destination would be. but it is teh unknown stations inbetween that is killing me slowly at the moment. i am figuring them out. Damn it is a hard work. if only i had so brilliant a mind like you.

you seemed a bit exhausted today. hope you are alright. take care.

2 Coffee N Cup of Tea

I started to know how you feel, by taking too much caffeine in a time.

eyes are wide opened. muscles are in a slight pain. skins are dry. spirit, however, is still there.
haha. this is how you maintain your energy everyday, yes? i have not told you, but wish to steal your coffee and put a cup of hot tea on your desk. for real. please take care.

i wish i could go to sleep, but who else can finish the work for me.

In Front of My Lemon Tea

Yesterday you stood in front of me.

oh what a great great time to chat. i am mentally not that satisfied with the studies. not in the sense of learning though. It is all to do with the kind of solitary. isolation between us and you all who we have long been admiring. so what a gathering yesterday! oh! i hope we could do the same thing every single day. simple chat. eye contact. smile. relaxing atmosphere.

very very glad that you came to us and talk. It was nice to hear your voice just tens of centermeters away. you casted your shadow on my lemon tea. it looked special and unique after that. thank you.

you asked me the questions that i also want to ask myself. What are you going to do in the future? Do you have a plan?

i do not know, where i am heading. I am even sorry for myself.

if only i could keep in contact with you after you leave. A told me that you are going to take a leave in the next semester. damn. that means i cannot see you? oh why. if only i could know you more. is there any more chances? may i have a picnic with you? sometimes i think the love from admiration is even more powerful than the love from Love.

oh knew a news, which i am looking forward to. a islamic art course newly opens next semester. great stuff. you said you are completely open and asked how we would like to learn. and most important, your passion. oh how wonderful is this department. every you love what you have been teaching. the most wonderful gift for us. thank you. a suggestion: is it possible that we remove all the chair in 239, and lie on the floor and project images to the celling? free from constraint in physical body means a free mind.